Remember Who You Are July 4, 2011

About a year ago, I was asked if I would talk at our annual women’s retreat about perfectionism.  More specifically, I was asked to talk about rest from perfectionism.  So, with a deadline, I attacked this issue in my life, and listened to the Lord about how he had defeated perfectionism in my life, why it was a sin, and many other aspects of being in this rest.  It was a great time in my life, I learned a lot, and truly enjoyed sharing this journey at our women’s retreat last October.

At the beginning of June this year, I remember thinking to myself that every blog I wrote seemed to be about perfectionism.  They were all good things that I was learning, but it seemed to me that my focus had shifted.  I couldn’t put a finger on why it bothered me.  I was still blogging about what the Lord was doing in my heart.

The third week of June our church had our annual youth camp, Boot Camp.  I was a runner for it this year, and spent most of my week running around making sure things were taken care of.  So, by Wednesday evening, I was dog tired.  I walked into the church kitchen, where the prayer team had just finished praying over the service.  They asked me how I was, and I responded that I was tired.  So, they asked me if they could pray for me, and of course, I delighted in the prospect.  While they were praying over me, one of the prayer team told me they felt like I should listen to the message that night and let it remind me of who I am.  Immediately, I thought I knew what they were talking about.  The message was supposed to be about purity of heart, and I am all about purity.

When it came time for the message, it wasn’t exactly about purity, but something even dearer to my heart.  Value.  Knowing your value.  I am passionate about young girls knowing their value in Christ, so that they don’t feel they need to compromise their purity in any area.  I am passionate about young girls, and women in general knowing that they are valuable, that they are princesses, and that they are free to live from their hearts.  I knew that for me, this message was exactly what I needed to remind me of who I am.  I am a warrior for women’s hearts.  I am a warrior for my own heart.  I am a woman who desires to live from her heart.  A woman who knows that I have value and incredible potential that my enemy fears.  I am a passionate, strong, princess of Christ.

What I realized that night, is that I had let one of my triumphs become more of my value than my true value.  We all have a grid.  After someone recognized a triumph in my life, I took value from that.  Saw that I had value as someone who had overcome something.  Who might have insight into that area.  I put this in my grid, and as a result, saw everything in my life through that grid.  So, everything in my life naturally related to perfectionism.  I am not saying that this is a bad thing altogether.  I learned a lot more throughout this year.  I just let it cross the line, and let being a recovering perfectionist become my identity.

I think we see this a lot in our world.  I am the girl who broke up with her bad boyfriend.  I am a recovering alcoholic.  I beat pride.  I am free from this, or free from that.  We let our triumphs dictate where we find at least a portion of our value, our identity, instead of letting all of our value and identity be dictated by Christ and his word.  He is, after all, the one that gave us the triumph.  It was his word, and His love, most of the time speaking to our hearts about the value that we have, that has given us these triumphs.

So, I hope that in the future my blog will be more true to it’s title: release my heart.

Look back at the things you have overcome.  Rejoice that part of who you have been made in Christ is more than a conquerer.  But always remember that you are more than that.  Ladies, remember that you are princesses.  You have a king that fights for you.  Remember that we are all warriors for our hearts.  Remember that you are valuable with or without victories.  Because in reality, the victory rests with the Lord.  Remember that most of all, you are loved beyond measure.  You have value beyond measure to the king of kings.

You are more than your victories.

A free heart once again,

Brooke

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