A True Woman

A true woman.  What weight these words carry.  We are bombarded with so many definitions of what a “true” woman is.  What a true woman should be.  What we should be.  Skinnier.  Prettier.  More delicate.  More feminine.  A better cook.  Cleaner in appearance and home.  More merciful.  The list goes on and on.  But what is the real definition of a true woman?  What is it that we should truly be striving for, truly be seeking?

I would like to suggest: nothing.

I believe, that a true woman, is one who is true to herself.  One that is true to her heart.  One that is true to her God.

God did not want all of us to be the same.  That would be boring, and one only has to look at the difference in the sunrise from one morning to the next to know that God does not do boring.  God made women.  And while there are certain things that define us as women, and many things that we have in common, I don’t know that we can compare ourselves to one another and say who is the better, or truer woman.  I have been meditating on a statement that the Lord spoke to me for a while now, and I keep finding that I need it for my own good.  “It is not about who is best, but who is called.”

Sometimes, I look at other women, and think that they are doing a better job of being a woman.  They cook dinner for their husbands more than once a week.  They have a cleaner house.  They are mothers.  They wear more jewelry.  Look more put together.  Have cuter clothing.  Have more mercy and sympathy on others.  Are more encouraging.  I become discouraged at all of these thoughts.  And truly, I do not think God meant for me to be discouraged when looking at His creation.  I identify with a sense of lack when I look at others and long.  And this is not to say that I shouldn’t cook more often for Dean.  This is not to say that we are to stay exactly where we are and cease growing because we are who we are.  Not even close.  It is to say that perhaps I should be more interested in what God desires for me, the desires he has put in MY heart, than what others are doing with their lives.

I have been on the quest to become a “woman” for several years now.  In the beginning, I had a hard heart, which I do not believe is in God’s plan for any of his children.  Especially not his daughters.  Because women are to have open hearts.  It is one of the things which belong to all of us.  Step up and claim it.  The Lord had to create a tender heart in me.  One that was teachable, open to Him.  He had to break down the walls that I had built up around me to protect me.  He had to break mindsets, and even muscles.  My precious Jesus had to teach me to be tender and vulnerable.  It was my lesson to be learned, and sometimes I still have to learn it.

Recently, he had to teach me to rely on others.  To rely on Him.  To sit back, and let him fight my battles.  To let my God do the work, and just sit at his feet.  It was a hard lesson to learn, because I have always been a do-it-yourself kind of girl.  But, it was good for me to learn.  Good to learn to trust my God to provide, and to protect me.  Without my assistance.

Somewhere along this journey, I became aware of the fact that I am supposed to be tender hearted.  Kind, gentle, and tender.  This is true.  True for me, and for every woman.  It is part of the heart of God that we speak to others.  But, along the way, I forgot about a different part of who I am.  A part of me that is equally as woman as the tender part.  A part of me that is just as equally if not even more necessary.  The part of me that is a warrior.

There is something fierce in the heart of a woman.  Something that knows how to fight, and will fight to the death for those that she loves.  In my journey I forgot about that part, and was not then being true to myself.  Not a true woman.  I was learning what it was to wear flowers in my hair, and to share my heart with others without fear of them hurting me.  I was learning to be vulnerable, and kind.  Tender and gentle.  But I forgot about the part of my heart that needed to fight.  That was needed for others.  For my husband.  For my students.  For myself.  For my ministry.  I would find myself lying down, and wanting to give up.  Something in me jumped at it, and wanted to do something, but a wonderful truth had been distorted.  “I am a woman” I would tell myself.  I need to be tender and gentle.  And there is a time for that.  But there is also a time to stand and fight.  There is a Princess Warrior within each of us, and the world desperately needs that part of us.  We are needed.  Full armor on, we are needed ladies!  All of us.  Not a part.  Not a portion and not the bare minimum.  Every ounce of our hearts is needed.

We may not fight as we think we ought to.  We fight differently because we are women.  We fight lies with encouragement.  We fight depression with a gentle touch of love.  We fight the enemy with our prayers and with our praises to the Most High.  We fight every day.  We fight to keep our hearts so that we can continue to be gentle and tender.  We fight lies of our own through surrender and through vulnerability.  And yes, there are times when we are fighting in a severely fierce way that does actually look like battle.  But through it all, we feel.  We are tender and gentle, but we are fighting.  We are warriors.  The only ones who can battle the way that we can.

So what is a true woman?

It does not have anything to do with our outward appearance, and whether or not we prefer jeans or skirts.

It does not have to do with our hobbies and whether we choose hiking or cooking.

It has nothing to do with who the world tells us to be and what we ought to “strive” for.

It has everything to do with our hearts.

It is a woman who remembers who she is.  In Jesus.

A woman who rests in this knowledge.

A woman that remembers who her God is.

One that loves herself because of this truth.

One that loves Jesus.

Again, it is all about Him anyway.

Released to be,

Brooke