Well, I really don’t know where to start. I should probably not apologize about the length of my absence from the blogging world, because month long interludes seem to be becoming a habit for me. It has been a crazy month, filled with learning, and growing, and really just doing some things that I think I would have done a long time ago, had I let my heart out of its cage several years ago. Anyway, onto the blog I sat down to write today.
For probably about six weeks now, I have noticed a theme in the things that God is speaking to my heart. He is saying to me, “its not about you.” The first place that I was able to put words to what I was feeling was when I was listening to the Daily Prayer found in Captivating as I would get ready in the mornings. There is a place in there, where John Eldredge says, “its not about me, its about you.” It shocked me into realization that that is exactly what I was learning. It’s not about me. I would notice that if I felt lacking, or incapable, I would say, “well I am doing the best I can.” This in itself is a great stretch and change for my perfectionist self, who would normally believe that there was more I could have been doing than what I was doing. I could do better somehow. However, it still is not about me. It’s not even my best. It is the fruit of what God has blessed me with every morning as I rise and every second during the day. Everything I have, everything I give, all of my strengths and all of my weaknesses, are about Jesus. Everything I do is for His glory, and not my own. Somehow, in my teaching, in my blogging, in my perfectionism, I believed that even the works the Lord was doing in me, were all about me. How he wanted me to be better. How he wanted me to grow. I believed that teaching showed only my strengths, and my weaknesses, and had nothing to do with any other factors in my student’s lives. I believed that even my blogging was about what I was learning and what I was sharing. And yes, these things are about my life, but my life is not even my own. My life is Christ’s. I have the pleasure and the great responsibility of living for Him. Being his hands and his feet in the earth. Being a tangible representation of his heart to those that are lost and hurting. And that, is not about me. Everything that I do, reaches far beyond my own circle of influence. It reaches everyone he wants it to reach. It brings him glory. No matter how many views or comments I get on this, I know that as I sat down to finally write it, the Lord’s will was accomplished somehow. I got to be the one to do the typing, but it is all his plan, his glory, his will. It is about him, much more than it will ever be about me.
As a perfectionist, I have a strong belief that more than anything, my mistakes are about me. Me and me alone. But, I have come to realize that even my mistakes are not about me. Knowing that I am not the center of everyone’s thoughts, everyone’s judgement, everyone’s criticism, or even their praise, has peeled another layer of the perfectionism off of me. Because my strengths, and my weaknesses, are not about me. My strengths are for the community, the body of Christ, and my weaknesses are what draw me into community. I can’t do life alone, and my weaknesses allow a space for someone else to offer their strength. A place for the Lord to draw his children together and share life with each other.
So, if life is not about me, what is my life about? Who is my life for? I believe that we were created for community, and for the glory of God. That is what my life is about. God’s plan, God’s will, God’s desire, and being a part of a community of believers that does life together in order to bring glory to their Father. Even the day that I sat down to write my notes for this blog, a month ago next Saturday, was a day that I took for myself, but it wasn’t even about me. It was about what the Lord wanted to do in me through refreshing me. It was about what he wanted to say to his community through me. A day that I took for my own refreshing, was not about me. I can’t share the love of God if I am drained and weary. It was about a plan that God had for his children. More than just one child. What if, even for a few minutes a day, we stopped, and thought about how our lives related to the lives of others? What if we stopped and spent a few minutes wondering how God was using our trials and triumphs for the good of the whole body, and lived for a brief moment outside of our little world? How would this change not only our outlook on our lives, but also our sense of value in the body? How would it change what we believe about ourselves, and then give us more to share? What if we thought about how our actions effected others? Or how God wanted our lessons to bless others? I think that if we begin to think about being part of a body, and how that works, it is going to change our whole outlook on life. It has started to change mine. I am not saying that I am completely transformed in this area, because it is a renewing of the mind and of the heart. It is changing the pathways in our brain, digging new ruts and filling in the old ones with truth. It will take time, but when I remember to think outside of myself, immediately I can see how the Lord is using my ordinary day for someone else within his Kingdom, or even possibly that is not in it yet. What if we stopped and thought about how our actions represented His glory and not ours? I think this would be a total transformation for some of us. It is for me.
Another benefit of thinking this way is that we are going to reach outside of ourselves. We are going to reach out to others. When we reach outside of ourselves, it brings relationship, and it brings trust. Aren’t these two things the Lord desires for his children to foster amongst themselves?
Lastly, I want to say that we make messes. And I have recently learned, that even our biggest messes are not about us. God takes our messes and turns them into beauty. I recently wrecked my car, and thought it was a pretty big mess. However, through this mess, the Lord introduced our whole family to some people we might have not otherwise known, and given us a chance to bless them. He has given me a chance to grow, and maybe someday I will be able to share my lessons with others in this area. Even my biggest mess, was not about me. The Lord took it and made it work for his good. And it has turned into a beautiful situation. Thank God for his goodness and his grace.
Our lives are not about us. They are about Him.
Thinking broader,
Brooke
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